The Bet & The Accident
by Alice Uzumaki
Summary: Basically this is about two things that have made me laugh and one of them is how I accidentally turned Twilight gay... I really didn't mean it, it just slipped out. Rated T for the second chapter. Two-shot! Mainly Edward, but there's also a splash of Jacob. Set sometime during Eclipse.
1. The Bet

**Ali: Okay, had to, I was inspired! real quickie, promise.**

**Emmett: Looks like Ali's getting back to Twilight.**

**Ali: *puts hands on hips* what's that supposed to mean?**

**Emmett: You've been focused on other stuff, I thought you gave up on us completely.**

**Ali: I reached a low point in Twilight Fan Fiction, leave me alone.**

**Emmett: You have to say the disclaimer.**

**Ali: *pulls out crowbar* Emmett...**

**Emmett: This part I didn't miss... Ali say the disclaimer!**

**Ali: I own nothing but the plot... *whacks Emmett with crowbar***

* * *

Edward was at Bella's home, waiting for his human girlfriend to come back. It was later than he wanted and Jacob hadn't brought her back yet. The car door closed and Edward flashed down, wrapping his arm around the Swan's waist.

"Mutt," Edward growled.

"Fairy," Jacobs snarled.

Bella giggled at that last one and shook her head. "Guys stop fighting."

"I will when the pet does," Edward said.

"And I will when the human disco ball does."

Bella growled. "What will get you two to stop?"

The boys thought for a second before locking eyes, in agreement for once. "Bet."

"Alright. Whoever wins does something and _I _choose what it is," Bella insisted.

"When I win... You have to be a wolf-pet at my house for a week," Edward smirked.

"When _I _win you have to be the disco ball at the next wolf party," Jacob countered.

"Deal!"

Bella thought for a minute before she grinned. "Whoever can win in a _safe _wrestling match wins."

~ONE WRESTLING MATCH LATER~

Bella laughed and held her sides. This was the best day of her life, no contest. Edward was spinning with a light on him, making the lights similar to a disco ball. Edward scowled as Jacob and Bella danced, laughing the entire time.

"I hate you," Edward growled at Jacob.

"It's not my fault for being great, you're the one who lost."

"Next time I'll win."

Alice walked into the Cullen house and looked up at her brother and she walked out silently, looking like she was trying not to laugh. She beckoned for the others to come in and Emmett's booming laughter was the first to be heard before the others joined in. The one laughing hardest was Jasper, who was feeling the emotions of everyone and also laughing at Edward's sour mood.

"Best day I will ever have!" Rosalie sighed after she was done. "I am, for once, glad of your presence mutt."

"Glad to be of service if this is it."

"Am I done now?" Edward asked.

"No," they all said, grinning.

* * *

**Ali: Okay, that's it!**

**Emmett: That crowbar hurt... but that was hilarious!**

**Ali: Yep! Wait until the next chapter, it's... kinda how I accidentally made Twilight permanently gay.**

**Emmett: How'd you pull that off?**

**Ali: I didn't mean it like that, and I didn't realize it until they started laughing!**

**Emmett: Looking forward to it.**


	2. The Accident

**Ali: Alright, here's the next and possibly final chapter to The bet & the accident! If anything else comes up that makes me laugh about Twilight I'll add it to this.**

**Jasper: How... did you manage to make Twilight completely and permanently gay?**

**Ali: Read and find out.**

**Jasper: Say the disclaimer first.**

**Ali: MAKE ME!**

**Jasper: Alice...**

**Alice: What?**

**Jasper: Not you, Ali.**

**Alice: Oh!**

**Ali: *sneaks to door***

**Jasper & Alice: ALICE UZUMAKI!**

**Ali: *sighs* I own nothing but the plot... wait... I own everything except the Twilight characters... VICTORY!**

**Alice: Well, got us there.**

**Jasper: True...**

**All: ENJOY!**

* * *

Three people sat in their living room joking around as usual, though not the usual group. One of them was Alice Uzumaki, the other was her father (for lack of a better name) Nelly Uzumaki **(AN: None of the names are true btw, and I was looking at a Nelly poster when I saw the name)** and her cousin May Lyon. THey were waiting for Alice's mom and May's mom to get back from shopping. It was a Saturday and everyone was relaxed, having fun and they got into Twilight once again.

Alice and May laughed as Nelly got in a feminine pose and snapped, acting like he was Edward Cullen as he said in a feminine tone, "SPARKLLLLLLLLLLES!"

May just rolled on the floor while Alice followed her father and did it as well in the same sing-song feminine tone, "SPARKLLLLLLLLES!"

Nelly held up his hands to call for attention. "You know how Edward's always brooding. Well, picture this, him brooding and then walking into the sun and then him going like this, "HEY GIIIIRL!""

Both girls busted into laughter and Alice rolled from her sturdy seat to the floor as she bent to hold her stomach in laughter while May stayed in her seat.

"They're in the meadow and the sun comes out and he goes, "GIRL!"" and Nelly waved femininely.

Alice finally got calm enough to speak. "And when he goes back to normal he's like, "Um... did the sun come out?" and bella nods her head like "Yeaaah." Then he'll say, "Now you know why we male vampires stay where the sun don't shine.""

Nelly burst into laughter and the girls looked at him funny and Alice tilted her head. "What?... OH!"

the girls joined in and laughed. All three laughed themselves into tears. Nelly calmed his breathing down for a few seconds to speak to his daughter. "Now you permanently made them gay!"

Through her laughter Alice spoke. "You know I didn't mean it like that, haheheheheheha!"

They laughed until they calmed themselves and the Nelly breathed and closed his hands in front of his face. "And scene."

They burst into another laughing fit until they calmed down and watched whatever they were watching.

* * *

**Ali: That's it! there's the story.**

**Alice: *laughs head off***

**Jasper: *glares at Ali and Alice* Really? You made me and every male vampire in the world GAY?!**

**Ali: I didn't mean it that way, but it turned that way. I never intentionally made it gay... but that was so funny! *bursts into laughter* Re-re-view! *laughs again***


	3. The Disappearance

**Ali: YAY! Something funny came to mind!**

**Demitri: You didn't make us gay again did you?**

**Ali: I'm sorry, I didn't mean it that way, but it just happened!**

**Demitri: Just say the disclaimer.**

**Ali: I don't own the name: Uzumaki, Robert Pattinson, or Nelly, or... actually that's it, I own the rest!**

**Demitri: You're loving owning most of of everything don't you?**

**Ali: YEP!**

**Demitri: Enjoy.**

* * *

**_The Disappearance_**

Alice sat in the living room with her father, Nelly, and watching a History Channel documentary and they said something about indoor toilets. Alice suddenly perked and let out a relieved sigh.

"Glad about that!"

"Yeah, I am too," Nelly said, playing solitaire on the tablet.

"I don't know about you, but I'm a _huge_ fan of indoor plumbing."

"Oh definitely."

"If, say, Robert Pattinson **(AN: Said his last name was spelled wrong and the spell check came up with Sonatina... I feel smarter than the computer now.)** disappeared people would be like, 'Nooo!', but if indoor plumbing were to disappear people would be like, '**_NOOOOOOOO!_**' and they'd forget about Robert because indoor plumbing is more important."

Nelly chuckled. and shook his head. "Yeah, that's true."

Alice giggled and then went back to doing what she was doing.

* * *

**Demitri: Not as funny as the other two.**

**Ali: I just did this to make me laugh, if someone else laughs it's a bonus. Besides, I'll forget, some one here, remember, and laugh again. It's a win: win for me.**

**Demitri: *rolls eyes* Wooow... I'm gonna go.**

**Ali: Hope you enjoyed, if you didn't... still for me.**


End file.
